Wanted: A different kind of life

The main thing that made me want to change my attitude towards money was planning the wedding. When Mr M proposed we discussed the idea of eloping, but decided that since we’re so close to our families it was important to have an event they could all share in – and so the traditional wedding was decided on. (Although I’m still not convinced the white gown and $400 cake is really my style!)

We did the wedding budget, and included all the things that most people include… flowers…cake... suits… dress… and the total came to that staggering almost $30k amount you see over to your right under “Wedding Savings”

Wow. How were we going to get $30,000 together in 12 months? A more importantly, how were we going to maintain our expensive lifestyle (including making repayments on over $25k worth of credit card debt, plus car loan, plus mortgage) and still enjoy what we perceived to be “quality of life”?

It became pretty clear pretty quickly that things had to change, and that’s really how this blog came to be: I started reading (and obsessive) over personal finance blogs and wanting to know all the “tricks” and “secrets” of the finance world, and began writing all my own thoughts and experiences with money here.

But what I’ve really learnt is there are no tricks or secrets. And I’m learning and more importantly, believing that the lifestyle I was leading wasn’t letting me have “quality of life”. I always thought the debt didn’t bother me but now I realise I was haunted by it. I was petrified people might find out and ruin my reputation of being a well educated and smart person. I constantly wondered how I would ever be able to afford to stop working in order to have children.

The concept of “money in the bank” was foreign to me. The concept of “saving” for something didn’t exist, instead I believed in paying with credit and repaying it later. If I saw a few extra dollars in my bank account I could quickly and easily find something to spend it on!

Now I’m genuinely looking forward to a different kind of life: a life where I’m not controlled by my debt. A life where I can make purchases with cash, but not on silly home cluttering items, but practical, well thought out and researched items. I’m learning that if I don’t eat crappy take away food constantly I'll be able to have a beautiful holiday every year to a beautiful place with beautiful food, with my beautiful soon-to-be husband. I'll be able to take two years off work to have a baby. Those things are what make a quality life, not Friday night drinks with friends and lots of clothing in my closet. Sure, I love Friday night drinks, and I love new clothes, but once I’ve paid back my debt, then I can really enjoy those things - when I buy the beautiful shoes and handbags I love with CASH and not on a card. God that will be good!

I’m really looking forward to that different life. I can’t wait. I’m impatient that I can’t just wipe the slate clean and start again, but I think the hard slog will make it so much more worthwhile, and will hopefully ingrain this new way of thinking into me permanently.